19 September 2007

Day 30

I'm still a little unsettled about last week, so many changes. Saying that though I think they have all helped. I actually felt like going out today, I wasn't worried like I usually am. In fact I went out on my bike, something I haven't done in a while. I really enjoyed it. I didn't go very far but I think it was the first time I had been out on my own without a single worry. Could it have been that being in a relationship caused all this, it did start not long after I began going out with my ex. I feel like I have come to terms with the relationship being gone now, I have all the memories but I cant remember very well what it all felt like (which I'm a bit sad about). Maybe letting go of my ex is the key to all this? However I would need to find out why a relationship caused this (if that is the case).

not feeling all that bright again today. didn't get a good nights sleep last night. I felt fine until the evening. Think I am getting a cold so i will take things easy tomorrow and make sure i wrap up warm, maybe a morning bath will help. Love baths, haven't had one in ages (Ive had showers instead, in case you were wondering). I can sit in a bath for a good hour, I usually take a book but I so often don't read it, just sit back and think.

I feel a bit bad about turning this person down for a relationship at the weekend. They were lovely, hadn't had much luck with relationships and I just hope that they don't feel hurt by it. It would have been wrong for me to have just gone along with it, would have caused more hurt further on. I just hope that someone gives them the chance, its not often you come across such a warm hearted person.

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